One of the steps of forgiveness, one that is often difficult, is to be teachable, that is, be able to learn from the situation. We need to listen to our own pain, to understand why we hurt. We need to listen to the other party, to see things from their position. We need to listen to the Holy Spirit, to be led to the ability to forgive. It is all about opening ourselves up instead of closing ourselves off from the other party.
We cannot erect a wall of defense, thinking that we are the offended and unless the other person comes and begs us on bended knee, there is no way we will forgive. We have to be able to learn from the situation and open our hearts to being soften. We have to remember what John says to us, “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” We are as guilty of offending as anyone else. We should desire to have a soft heart towards others, just as we want others to have towards us.
In Philippians Paul mentions how we need to be like-minded, of one mind. There is no greater time that this is important than when we need to forgive. By making an effort to learn from others, even in a confrontational situation, we can work (fight?) together to come to a solution that demonstrates how we are one in God. Forgiveness always starts and ends with us. So let us stay open to learning how we might move together. Let’s move!
What walls have you erected that prevent you from learning more about yourself, others, and our loving and forgiving Father? Ask God to tear down those walls that you might forgive.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
but fools despise wisdom and instruction. -Proverbs 1:7